Firstly - my apologies about my complete lack of blogging....life got in the way but I am going to try and be a bit more regular...so update on life
January saw my weight peak at 252.8 FUCK!!! Crazy shit I say!!!
So I started eating healthy, moving more and am down to 230.00 not bad but I WANT more!!
Had a scope done in November and finally figured out I have a big ass Hiatal Hernia -- good call Miss Sarcastically Bitter reader--and as such have started on Losec which has done the trick meaning I can tolerate my psych meds meaning I am way more balanced and am tolerating stress a smidge better....
I take my meds daily which is good...
My boyfriend from previous posts and I bought a house together last fall - it is both of our dream houses which is fantastic. Out in the country--80 acres and room to have fun. The downside to this is a high school dropout smoking pregnant teen is now living with us. WTF! Yup she is 23 weeks pregnant and living with me. Like I need this freaking stress! And it is stressing out my relationship with Paul.
Yesterday she went to spend the night with her mom which was great--- I was off and I thought woohoo finally gonna get me some nooky--instead he proceeds to tell me how annoyed he is with pet hair in the bedroom....this is not a new discussion which always upsets me so there went that mood then I thought to myself well he worked outside all day and if he even wanted to get busy he would have showered right before bed---well he didn't so obviously he didn't want to have sex...therefore I am obviously not pretty enough to want to have sex with because if he wanted oral he knows he has to shower---
FUCK! What am I doing wrong?
Should I have not been hurt when he yelled am about my pet hair - he knew I had pets and he knows I cannot control where they are when we are not home. Short of locking them out of our room - and you know what--last week I gave him such great oral that sans viagra he got off....what about me? all self pleasure lately since he doesn't want to do it...Seriously if I want sex I have to start it each and everytime--well this bitch is on strike.
I have no idea how this strike is gonna go but I gotta try....
Because frankly I am getting rather depressed about the lack of loving in this house. I know he loves me but I am so hurt by the lack of intimacy that I feel like I have a great roommate rather than a great boyfriend.
Anyway goals for the next week--
1) Lose 2 lbs
2) Don't eat off the menu plan
3) Exercise for a total of 180 minutes
Realistic...we will see...
In the meantime rather than sulk I am aiming to blog more and make this more my journal
Glad the Losec is helping. Those stomach meds are wonders! Thank god they are covered.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Paul is just stressed about his daughter? Still that is no reason to take it out on you. And why is she living with you? Does she have a mom she could spend some time with?
Hope things get better.