I can honestly say that the depression I am battling is winning right now.
It is a huge challenge to do anything right now. I left work early last night since it was quite and I was beyond tired. I came home and proceeded to sleep another seven hours. Yup hello depression welcome back fucker!
I am doing the best I can right now but damn it is hard.
I hate myself in so many ways right now - the anniversary is looming. I am honestly considering methods--WTF!!! I even considered calling the fucking shithead liar in Alberta just to talk--WTF!! I won't - can't - should not walk down that path but it is hard. I just wanna cuddle with Paul right now and he is only an hour away.
My mom called this morning on skype. Just to check in. I am sure she is concerned but what can she do? she cannot take away pain that cannot be seen. I think it is time to go and sleep again....just so I don't do anything stupid. If I sleep at least the time passes and I don't think and I don't cry.
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