am i cycling again?

am i cycling up again?

am i about to hit a huge depression again?

I have been taking my medications- I swear I dont wanna go down that road again. I never want to be that close to killing myself. but i will be honest some of the decisions I have made lately have increased the stress which is not so good.

I hate exercising at a gym. I feel VERY self conscious and yes I know if www.theantijared.com can get his booty out of bed and go the gym even at over 400lbs then seriously i should do it right? nope-i need to do what works for me so I need to figure out what works for me...

I really enjoyed my treadmill when i had it in nunavut and alberta so i have been actively looking for one. Finally canadian tire put them on sale and i bought one.

they were good treadmills and do what i want them to do....

hmm i also know i need goals - something to work towards....so I searched high and low and found a race to work towards. I am going to do a 15km race in Turkey. A place on my bucket list. More about this later and yes you will be given a chance to help me fundraise for this.

I am also considering doing weightwatchers again. there new points system intrigues me and i really want to lose weight and eat healthy while working towards my race goal. 

So --

If I am cycling up into a manic phase how do i cope with it? do i clamp down and get very ocd on myself so that i don't go over board? 

How do i make sure i don't slide into a massive depression again.....I cannot do that again I am not sure I would survive that again....Okay so this is a rambling post. And I feel that if I don't post regularly I will lose control so you might be seeing more posts from me ....comments are appreciated. share the news get me some readers....

sarah